Dating experts have shared their knowledge about the rules of dating. If you want to increase your chances of succeeding in dating, you ought to follow these rules, too.
• Relax and have fun. Dating is a wonderful experience only when you know how to have fun. Set activities that both of you enjoy so you relax and de-stress. But if you are too pressured to enjoy it, then you better stop dating.
• Prepare for the date. Groom yourself by taking a shower, keeping your breath fresh, and choosing an outfit that compliments your look and matches the venue. Don’t overdo sexy to avoid offending your date.
• Listen. During a date, you need to listen extra attentively and ask questions later. Don’t brag if you don’t want your date to be turned off.
• Be generous with your compliments. Focus on the good things about your date and point it out to him or her.
• Be positive. Your complaints will definitely not move your date forward.
• Be honest. If you think you won’t work, have the courage to tell your date about it instead of leaving him or her to hope that you will meet again.
• Be proactive. Take steps to find prospective dates. Learn how to smile, flirt and be friendly.
• Be creative. Don’t simply follow what other couples have been doing. There’s more to dating than just going to the movies. You can go bowling, horseback riding, or attend music festivals, before going to the movies where you can’t talk.
• Tell your friends that you are dating. Someone might help you out by playing matchmaker.
• Have manners. Try to be a gentleman. If you’re a woman, offer to pay for the date or half of it. Don’t forget to say thank you and please.
• Don’t be late. Doing so is like saying that you don’t respect your date’s time.
• Don’t be clingy. Don’t be desperate to call, text, or email the other person frequently if you don’t want to look like a turn-off.
• Don’t fall for people who are users. Don’t reveal too much about yourself. Don’t tell the other person how well-off you are. Discourage your date if he’s coming on too strong about getting intimate.
• Don’t lie. It’s understandable that you want to look good in front of your date, but don’t overdo it by lying about your education, income, and career.
• Don’t act too desperate. No matter how desperate you are to get married, don’t scare your date by talking about marriage and children on your first date.
• Don’t be too focused on getting a call or text from the other person. This is pathetic. You still need to live your life, instead of dropping everything just because you met a prospect that you really like.
• Don’t go to your date drunk or high. Being incoherent will immediately throw your chance to find a partner out the window.
• Don’t flirt with other people. Hitting on the chaperone friend or anyone else while you’re on a date will immediately cut your chances of getting another date.
• Don’t get intimate too quickly. Engaging in sex after one or two dates will likely take the fun part of getting to know each other in a dating relationship.
• Don’t reveal too much of yourself on a first date. Despite how close you’ve grown after your first date, don’t tell your date about your home number and address.…
It’s done, you said some things, she said some things, you are both hurt and in the height of your emotions, the two of you ended your relationship. But then after a few hours, or maybe a few days, or a week or two, you realize how big of a mistake you have done. You realize how amazing that girl that you let go was and right then and there, you decided that you have to do everything you can to win her back. But what is the right way of winning an ex back? Is there a right way of winning an ex back? And if there is, what is it?
Before you do anything, stop using the word “win” in this situation. When you don’t get her back, you think that you lost because you did not try harder. So the tendency of some guys when that happens is to double their efforts to the point of overwhelming their exes which scares them away. Being a big baby about this situation will not help you get your ex back.
Even if she was the one who broke the relationship off in the first place, there is a pretty good chance that she was the only one who was unhappy with it. Trust me, you also did something which set her off. Maybe you were being unusually distant, you were inattentive to her or maybe she noticed your wandering eye while you were walking hand in hand in the park. Chances are, she has been noticing some symptoms on you and she had been thinking about it for some time already.
Before you come knocking on her door with a teddy bear and bunch of flowers, take a time to step back and re-evaluate the state that your relationship was in before the breakup was initiated. Do not only look at what her issues were, you also need to recognize and address your own issue as well and you also need to address the role that you played that helped sabotage your relationship. You also have to remember that it is not a contest that has to be won by anyone. Think of it as a process that you two has to go through to fix a conflict.
Here are some things that you have to work on if you really want to get back together.
Respond in a Different Way
When your girlfriend tells you something, you usually respond angrily. But you can actually use that as an opportunity to strike up a conversation to work a problem out. You also need to understand where she is coming from and why she mentioned that to you because chances are, it has been bothering her for a while now.
Remember that this is not a battle that you have to win and it will also not work out if you are just the only one trying hard to sort things out. Talk about it, listen and keep your emotion in check. If you will just focus your intentions on what you really want out of the situation and if you are willing to compromise and work to smooth things out, then you might be able to really make it work.…
My Dad wasn’t a stranger to me and I always knew that he loved me very much. However, he was not the most open personality, at least to my interpretation, he always had a depth of patience that defied reason, until the bottom of the barrel was reached. Let me explain via three events, two I heard about and one I experienced, although all involve me.
First one, we were visiting one of Mom’s brothers in Blackwell, OK, before he moved his family to Colorado, and they had a swimming pool at their house, which was extremely rare in the mid-’50s in Oklahoma. A bunch of kids were in the pool and I was wading in the shallow end and somehow was knocked down and sitting on the bottom, now too deep to stand and get my head above water. Mom later told me that Dad — who was wearing his good suit — jumped into the pool and rescued me. Not everyone can truly relate that their father actually saved their life, but mine did. He also ruined his best suit and shoes. Sure hope he always felt it was worth it.
The second, I was in the chicken yard feeding grain to the hens when one of the roosters attacked me and knocked me down and started slicing me with its spurs. Mom later told me that Dad grabbed a hatchet, ran into the chicken yard and dispatched the offending rooster with a solid whack! I imagine that we had fried chicken that night, and it was, I’m sure, real goooood!
The third, what it was about I really don’t have a clue. I must have been doing something extremely stupid because I still remember what it felt like for him to give me a swift kick in the butt! When I screw up even now, I can feel his foot kicking me in the ass, and I know that I deserved it then, and also all too often even more so now.
I have so many of his traits. He was a control freak, however he certainly met his match with my Mom. I finally found someone for me that measures up to my penchant for controlling B.S. and she gives me no quarter either.
In today’s five letters you get the sense that Duke, becoming ever more devoted to his Anna Mae, is starting to worry a little about the future, about whether he will ever get to go back home, and whether his Anna Mae will be there if he does make it through the war. In September of 1942, the war’s outcome is certainly not determined, and we are not sure how much he is thinking about the big picture. Since he and I never got to talk about any of this, I have no insight into his frame of mind at this time of his life. I’m just tripping on getting to know my Dad as a twenty-five year old guy. As a fifty-four year old father of one, I look at him as I would a student in one of the freshman classes I taught at Tulsa University, and also as my Dad. It’s a very Kevin Costneresque experience — as per the final catch scenes in the movie Field of Dreams.
Once again, my father’s letters . . . (db)
I see you haven’t as yet gotten a letter saying I am well, as a matter of fact, I guess I never was very sick.
So, you don’t know how to act in an up town theater, well don’t feel too badly about getting lost. I remember the first larger theater I ever attended. If it hadn’t been for the usher I would have probably gone out the exit & missed the show.
I hope you don’t acquire too many of those big town ideas. I like you just as you are. I am more than glad you got the opportunity to work at a better job but don’t let it change you too much & I’ll do the same.
Didn’t I ever tell you about the way I wash clothes? Well, to start with, we don’t have a washing machine as you probably have already guessed. We use a scrub brush and scrub to beat H_ _ _, then turn the clothes wrong side out & fold them along the seam while they are soaking wet & hang them out to dry without wringing them out. In this way, when they dry, they are pressed. You’d be surprised how good they turn out. Some of the boys have irons but I never use one & my clothes look just as well, believe it or not. Those white suits sure get dirty.
I saw Bill a couple of days ago, he is starting to school in a day or so, I don’t know much about it, I only saw him for a minute.
Bob, my friend here, said to tell you hello & he hung your picture in my locker for me, did a real good job of it too.
He (Bob) still says he is going to send you that picture of him you asked for. I am also going to send you a picture & in the near future too, I promise.
I am still taking my medicine & feel a lot better. I don’t feel like I need it now, but the doctor said to take it so I am.
I am tired tonight. We shot a battalion here this morning & are at Bradford this afternoon. Then I washed my clothes & now I am writing you. It is almost time for lights out so I had better bathe & get to bed. We have inspection by the Captain tomorrow. Everyone dresses in his best & the Captain gives us the once over, just like you have probably seen in the movies. Well, good night darling, & be good.
I just got back from Portsmouth Hospital.…
Going back to the dating world after your divorce seems even scarier than usual. It might be even more difficult for those who just ended their long-term marriage, but dating again is part of moving on.
To help you cope with seeing another person after the divorce, there are few important dating tips that might help.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex
It helps to be open and genuine on your first date after your marriage ended. However, it is never a good idea to bring up your former spouse in your conversations. No matter how your divorce went, don’t talk about it. Don’t badmouth your ex. Doing so will only put you in a bad light and create a negative impression on your date. If you keep talking about your ex, your date might think that you are still not over your marriage. Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, it might raise some red flags on the part of your date if you can’t let it go. Always remember to put everything behind you, especially the divorce, so you can start anew with your current date. Give yourself the chance to enjoy the present.
Women love to talk and they certainly do it well. However, it is important that you give your date a chance to say what he wants to say and show him how great you are as a listener. This is among the dating tips that are often neglected by both single and divorced women. No matter how great you are at talking, first dates should be about sharing the floor with your date. The more you listen to him, the more you will get to know him. It will help you if you are to go out on a second date, which is a huge possibility if you listened well.
Prepare a Short Version of Your Divorce Story
When you decide to go on a date, you need to prepare not only a great outfit but also a shortened version of your divorce. This is in case your date asks you about your marriage. You have to take this opportunity to address the issue once and for all. Give him your divorce story and that’s it. Change the topic right away and tell him politely that you’d rather talk about him instead of the divorce.
Stop yourself from revealing too much about your past relationships. Be selective in sharing details about your past. While it helps to be honest, you should not treat your date as a therapy session. You’re not even sure whether you can trust your date with the details just yet. It would be best to keep mum about your past and savor the present.
Don’t Be Too Serious
It’s just a first date. Don’t think too much about it. As a divorcee, you might get easily attached to people, but you should stop yourself. Be calm and casual during your first, second, and third dates. Have fun. You don’t have to limit yourself to a single man when you’ve been asked out on several dates. Don’t jump into another serious relationship right away. This is one of the most sensible dating tips for you if you want to avoid relationship troubles.
Explore a New Social Scene
When you were married, you might have formed a social circle along with your husband. It might be a scary idea to think of leaving that group to avoid running into your ex, but you have to do it. Otherwise, you will get stuck in the same social routine and eliminate the chance to meet new people and even new prospects. Even if you’re the type who does not get easily affected by your ex, how do you think your dates will react? It might be a good idea to get a clean break from your ex and your mutual friends, if possible. This will also steer you from the possibility of dating a friend who also knows your ex, hence avoiding an awkward date and relationship.
Some divorcees even go to the extent of moving away from their old neighborhood. Even living in the next city can open so many possibilities of getting new dates without the complications brought about by seeing your ex and getting reminded about your divorce. This is one good way of wiping your dating slate clean.
Don’t Look At Other Men Like They’re Your Ex
Seeing a new man after all the things that you went through with your ex might be difficult. However, distrusting all men just because of what your ex did will ruin your chance of finding love again. If you are quite upfront about your distrust of men in your online dating profile, you might scare the men away. Announcing it on your profile is not even that effective in shooing the dishonest men away. Instead, you are just limiting your dating pool.
Your distrust in men might lead you to another divorce if you ever find a guy who really loves you and is more than willing to be faithful to you. The paranoia brought about by your ex and your divorce will cause you to miss out on what could have been a great relationship.
Don’t listen to that voice in your head saying how all men are just like your ex, who cheated on you, who hurt you, and who broke up with you. When you date, give that man a chance to prove himself worthy of your trust.
Don’t Do Rebounds
Your loneliness and frustration from your divorce might lead you to get involved with a new man right away before you have even completed the process of moving on. To avoid rebound relationships, ask yourself if the man has all the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner for the long haul, if you are attracted to him beyond his physical qualities, and if you have a lot of things in common with him.…
A Geeky Kind of Love
If you are considered to be one of those socially choosy geeks and nerds (since people would sometimes misunderstand your likes), dating would be hard. You would sometimes end up online looking for tips on how to mask yourself and cover up your nerdy ways, but the answer there is not to pretend; it is actually to be yourself.
Here are some tips on how you would find someone who fits exactly who you are:
TIP No. 1 – What Kind of Geek are You?
This is the most crucial tip everyone should know. If you are in to something that not everyone is fond of, the answer is not to forget that hobby. Find someone who enjoys doing the same. Dating isn’t just about knowing someone and falling in love, it’s actually more complicated than that so to save yourself from damage, the very first step is to know what kind of geek you are and find someone who is the same.
TIP No. 2 – Develop a Strong Foundation
If you already started a relationship or have been in a relationship for long, it’s important to see if things are still on the same page. That is why pretending is never an answer because sooner or later the truth would come out. It is highly advised to time to time check if you and your partner are enjoying the momentum or you’re the only one fueling it up since they’re not into the same thing and when this happens, you could start deciding if it’s worth the fight.
TIP No. 3 – Be Confident of Who You Are
You are dating because you want to be with someone who you will be comfortable with, who will appreciate your weirdness and see it as something likable and amazing. When you try to be somebody else, the relationship you’ll be getting in to might not succeed because your partner will expect you to be that someone. There is nothing wrong with being a nerd, everybody is weird! Just find that someone who wants to be weird with you.
TIP No. 4 – Practice Talking
One of the difficulties geeks go through is to be open with everyone. Well, if you really want to go to a date, you should practice talking. This is one way to gain confidence on coming up to somebody that captivated you. You can’t deny that when you talk to someone, they tend to see you as a know-it-all (most likely you are) but when you practice talking to different people, you could gradually adjust to different personalities and even discover how to deal with those who give you the weird stares.
TIP No. 5 – Be an Interesting Geek
Despite being interested on weird stuffs, it is still a good tip to stay updated with current issues or to interesting things that are trending. This does not mean that you should like or favor everything, it is still important to have opinions on certain matters in order to be ready for any possible topic you might encounter on a date. You don’t want your date to see you as someone trapped under a rock for a long time.…