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Going back to the dating world after your divorce seems even scarier than usual. It might be even more difficult for those who just ended their long-term marriage, but dating again is part of moving on.
To help you cope with seeing another person after the divorce, there are few important dating tips that might help.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex
It helps to be open and genuine on your first date after your marriage ended. However, it is never a good idea to bring up your former spouse in your conversations. No matter how your divorce went, don’t talk about it. Don’t badmouth your ex. Doing so will only put you in a bad light and create a negative impression on your date. If you keep talking about your ex, your date might think that you are still not over your marriage. Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, it might raise some red flags on the part of your date if you can’t let it go. Always remember to put everything behind you, especially the divorce, so you can start anew with your current date. Give yourself the chance to enjoy the present.
Women love to talk and they certainly do it well. However, it is important that you give your date a chance to say what he wants to say and show him how great you are as a listener. This is among the dating tips that are often neglected by both single and divorced women. No matter how great you are at talking, first dates should be about sharing the floor with your date. The more you listen to him, the more you will get to know him. It will help you if you are to go out on a second date, which is a huge possibility if you listened well.
Prepare a Short Version of Your Divorce Story
When you decide to go on a date, you need to prepare not only a great outfit but also a shortened version of your divorce. This is in case your date asks you about your marriage. You have to take this opportunity to address the issue once and for all. Give him your divorce story and that’s it. Change the topic right away and tell him politely that you’d rather talk about him instead of the divorce.
Stop yourself from revealing too much about your past relationships. Be selective in sharing details about your past. While it helps to be honest, you should not treat your date as a therapy session. You’re not even sure whether you can trust your date with the details just yet. It would be best to keep mum about your past and savor the present.
Don’t Be Too Serious
It’s just a first date. Don’t think too much about it. As a divorcee, you might get easily attached to people, but you should stop yourself. Be calm and casual during your first, second, and third dates. Have fun. You don’t have to limit yourself to a single man when you’ve been asked out on several dates. Don’t jump into another serious relationship right away. This is one of the most sensible dating tips for you if you want to avoid relationship troubles.
Explore a New Social Scene
When you were married, you might have formed a social circle along with your husband. It might be a scary idea to think of leaving that group to avoid running into your ex, but you have to do it. Otherwise, you will get stuck in the same social routine and eliminate the chance to meet new people and even new prospects. Even if you’re the type who does not get easily affected by your ex, how do you think your dates will react? It might be a good idea to get a clean break from your ex and your mutual friends, if possible. This will also steer you from the possibility of dating a friend who also knows your ex, hence avoiding an awkward date and relationship.
Some divorcees even go to the extent of moving away from their old neighborhood. Even living in the next city can open so many possibilities of getting new dates without the complications brought about by seeing your ex and getting reminded about your divorce. This is one good way of wiping your dating slate clean.
Don’t Look At Other Men Like They’re Your Ex
Seeing a new man after all the things that you went through with your ex might be difficult. However, distrusting all men just because of what your ex did will ruin your chance of finding love again. If you are quite upfront about your distrust of men in your online dating profile, you might scare the men away. Announcing it on your profile is not even that effective in shooing the dishonest men away. Instead, you are just limiting your dating pool.
Your distrust in men might lead you to another divorce if you ever find a guy who really loves you and is more than willing to be faithful to you. The paranoia brought about by your ex and your divorce will cause you to miss out on what could have been a great relationship.
Don’t listen to that voice in your head saying how all men are just like your ex, who cheated on you, who hurt you, and who broke up with you. When you date, give that man a chance to prove himself worthy of your trust.
Don’t Do Rebounds
Your loneliness and frustration from your divorce might lead you to get involved with a new man right away before you have even completed the process of moving on. To avoid rebound relationships, ask yourself if the man has all the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner for the long haul, if you are attracted to him beyond his physical qualities, and if you have a lot of things in common with him.…
A Geeky Kind of Love
If you are considered to be one of those socially choosy geeks and nerds (since people would sometimes misunderstand your likes), dating would be hard. You would sometimes end up online looking for tips on how to mask yourself and cover up your nerdy ways, but the answer there is not to pretend; it is actually to be yourself.
Here are some tips on how you would find someone who fits exactly who you are:
TIP No. 1 – What Kind of Geek are You?
This is the most crucial tip everyone should know. If you are in to something that not everyone is fond of, the answer is not to forget that hobby. Find someone who enjoys doing the same. Dating isn’t just about knowing someone and falling in love, it’s actually more complicated than that so to save yourself from damage, the very first step is to know what kind of geek you are and find someone who is the same.
TIP No. 2 – Develop a Strong Foundation
If you already started a relationship or have been in a relationship for long, it’s important to see if things are still on the same page. That is why pretending is never an answer because sooner or later the truth would come out. It is highly advised to time to time check if you and your partner are enjoying the momentum or you’re the only one fueling it up since they’re not into the same thing and when this happens, you could start deciding if it’s worth the fight.
TIP No. 3 – Be Confident of Who You Are
You are dating because you want to be with someone who you will be comfortable with, who will appreciate your weirdness and see it as something likable and amazing. When you try to be somebody else, the relationship you’ll be getting in to might not succeed because your partner will expect you to be that someone. There is nothing wrong with being a nerd, everybody is weird! Just find that someone who wants to be weird with you.
TIP No. 4 – Practice Talking
One of the difficulties geeks go through is to be open with everyone. Well, if you really want to go to a date, you should practice talking. This is one way to gain confidence on coming up to somebody that captivated you. You can’t deny that when you talk to someone, they tend to see you as a know-it-all (most likely you are) but when you practice talking to different people, you could gradually adjust to different personalities and even discover how to deal with those who give you the weird stares.
TIP No. 5 – Be an Interesting Geek
Despite being interested on weird stuffs, it is still a good tip to stay updated with current issues or to interesting things that are trending. This does not mean that you should like or favor everything, it is still important to have opinions on certain matters in order to be ready for any possible topic you might encounter on a date. You don’t want your date to see you as someone trapped under a rock for a long time.…