Going back to the dating world after your divorce seems even scarier than usual. It might be even more difficult for those who just ended their long-term marriage, but dating again is part of moving on.
To help you cope with seeing another person after the divorce, there are few important dating tips that might help.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex
It helps to be open and genuine on your first date after your marriage ended. However, it is never a good idea to bring up your former spouse in your conversations. No matter how your divorce went, don’t talk about it. Don’t badmouth your ex. Doing so will only put you in a bad light and create a negative impression on your date. If you keep talking about your ex, your date might think that you are still not over your marriage. Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, it might raise some red flags on the part of your date if you can’t let it go. Always remember to put everything behind you, especially the divorce, so you can start anew with your current date. Give yourself the chance to enjoy the present.
Women love to talk and they certainly do it well. However, it is important that you give your date a chance to say what he wants to say and show him how great you are as a listener. This is among the dating tips that are often neglected by both single and divorced women. No matter how great you are at talking, first dates should be about sharing the floor with your date. The more you listen to him, the more you will get to know him. It will help you if you are to go out on a second date, which is a huge possibility if you listened well.
Prepare a Short Version of Your Divorce Story
When you decide to go on a date, you need to prepare not only a great outfit but also a shortened version of your divorce. This is in case your date asks you about your marriage. You have to take this opportunity to address the issue once and for all. Give him your divorce story and that’s it. Change the topic right away and tell him politely that you’d rather talk about him instead of the divorce.
Stop yourself from revealing too much about your past relationships. Be selective in sharing details about your past. While it helps to be honest, you should not treat your date as a therapy session. You’re not even sure whether you can trust your date with the details just yet. It would be best to keep mum about your past and savor the present.
Don’t Be Too Serious
It’s just a first date. Don’t think too much about it. As a divorcee, you might get easily attached to people, but you should stop yourself. Be calm and casual during your first, second, and third dates. Have fun. You don’t have to limit yourself to a single man when you’ve been asked out on several dates. Don’t jump into another serious relationship right away. This is one of the most sensible dating tips for you if you want to avoid relationship troubles.
Explore a New Social Scene
When you were married, you might have formed a social circle along with your husband. It might be a scary idea to think of leaving that group to avoid running into your ex, but you have to do it. Otherwise, you will get stuck in the same social routine and eliminate the chance to meet new people and even new prospects. Even if you’re the type who does not get easily affected by your ex, how do you think your dates will react? It might be a good idea to get a clean break from your ex and your mutual friends, if possible. This will also steer you from the possibility of dating a friend who also knows your ex, hence avoiding an awkward date and relationship.
Some divorcees even go to the extent of moving away from their old neighborhood. Even living in the next city can open so many possibilities of getting new dates without the complications brought about by seeing your ex and getting reminded about your divorce. This is one good way of wiping your dating slate clean.
Don’t Look At Other Men Like They’re Your Ex
Seeing a new man after all the things that you went through with your ex might be difficult. However, distrusting all men just because of what your ex did will ruin your chance of finding love again. If you are quite upfront about your distrust of men in your online dating profile, you might scare the men away. Announcing it on your profile is not even that effective in shooing the dishonest men away. Instead, you are just limiting your dating pool.
Your distrust in men might lead you to another divorce if you ever find a guy who really loves you and is more than willing to be faithful to you. The paranoia brought about by your ex and your divorce will cause you to miss out on what could have been a great relationship.
Don’t listen to that voice in your head saying how all men are just like your ex, who cheated on you, who hurt you, and who broke up with you. When you date, give that man a chance to prove himself worthy of your trust.
Don’t Do Rebounds
Your loneliness and frustration from your divorce might lead you to get involved with a new man right away before you have even completed the process of moving on. To avoid rebound relationships, ask yourself if the man has all the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner for the long haul, if you are attracted to him beyond his physical qualities, and if you have a lot of things in common with him.
Another important question to ask is whether you can enjoy your life even without a man. If you only started dating because you don’t want to be alone, then it’s just going to be a rebound relationship, which will likely end up hurting you or the other party in the end. This is one of the most important dating tips that will stop you from getting into more troubled relationships in the future.
Let Go of Your Baggage
Many people have been hurt by their relationships, but you should let go of the hurt to give more room for happiness. Release the baggage from your previous relationship and embrace the start of the new one.
Before you start dating, spend some alone time and think about why your marriage failed. Don’t focus on what your ex did that contributed to your divorce, but more on what you did or failed to do. Stop putting blame on others and acknowledge your own mistakes. This will help you mature and will surely contribute positively to your next relationship. Owning up to your flaws should not be forgotten among the dating tips that you should remember.
Give Yourself Some Time to Recover
Some divorcees admitted that they started dating again to get back on their ex. Unfortunately, this is just a disaster waiting to happen. Spend some time working through your personal issues until you are clear about what you want to get out of your next relationship and what your next partner should be like. Some divorcees even ask help from an experienced counselor to help the figure out their issues and resolve them before embarking on another relationship.
Don’t Be Afraid to Go Solo
Just think about how going solo will likely help you meet new people. You should enjoy travelling alone, as well as going to a concert, watching a movie, or taking a class alone. You should even be brave enough to go to dinner alone or sit in the bar area on your own. Someone might notice you and be brave enough to get your attention because you’re alone. A woman who is out alone is confident, approachable, and mysterious, characteristics that might make you more attractive to your prospects.
You should go on your first date after the divorce as “you.” Just be your positive self when you go out. Choose the best outfit, wear your favorite perfume, and put on makeup that adds to your confidence. Don’t forget to smile.
Don’t Alter Your Schedule Too Much for Dates
After your divorce, you might have gone to your girlfriends for a good cry. You should not neglect them just because you want to start dating again. If you want to attain a balance between your friends who were there for you during the bad times and your prospects who might give you a good time, don’t break your plans that easily. This is one of the important dating tips from pandoras box review that will help preserve your friendships while letting you pursue a new relationship.
Being a divorcee does not make you any less of a person. You should feel confident and courageous about dating again. Don’t let your divorce rule your dating life. Instead, use it as additional motivation to find the one who’s willing to spend a lifetime with you.