It’s done, you said some things, she said some things, you are both hurt and in the height of your emotions, the two of you ended your relationship. But then after a few hours, or maybe a few days, or a week or two, you realize how big of a mistake you have done. You realize how amazing that girl that you let go was and right then and there, you decided that you have to do everything you can to win her back. But what is the right way of winning an ex back? Is there a right way of winning an ex back? And if there is, what is it?
Before you do anything, stop using the word “win” in this situation. When you don’t get her back, you think that you lost because you did not try harder. So the tendency of some guys when that happens is to double their efforts to the point of overwhelming their exes which scares them away. Being a big baby about this situation will not help you get your ex back.
Even if she was the one who broke the relationship off in the first place, there is a pretty good chance that she was the only one who was unhappy with it. Trust me, you also did something which set her off. Maybe you were being unusually distant, you were inattentive to her or maybe she noticed your wandering eye while you were walking hand in hand in the park. Chances are, she has been noticing some symptoms on you and she had been thinking about it for some time already.
Before you come knocking on her door with a teddy bear and bunch of flowers, take a time to step back and re-evaluate the state that your relationship was in before the breakup was initiated. Do not only look at what her issues were, you also need to recognize and address your own issue as well and you also need to address the role that you played that helped sabotage your relationship. You also have to remember that it is not a contest that has to be won by anyone. Think of it as a process that you two has to go through to fix a conflict.
Here are some things that you have to work on if you really want to get back together.
Respond in a Different Way
When your girlfriend tells you something, you usually respond angrily. But you can actually use that as an opportunity to strike up a conversation to work a problem out. You also need to understand where she is coming from and why she mentioned that to you because chances are, it has been bothering her for a while now.
Remember that this is not a battle that you have to win and it will also not work out if you are just the only one trying hard to sort things out. Talk about it, listen and keep your emotion in check. If you will just focus your intentions on what you really want out of the situation and if you are willing to compromise and work to smooth things out, then you might be able to really make it work.